We had an amazing second date.
Started with a drink at a weird Irish pub. We couldn’t stop laughing about anything and everything.
Then he awkwardly held my hand as we walked to a live blues show. He looked so handsome in his blazer, with his messy hair.
I could tell he was getting nervous on our way back. He’s definitely going to kiss me, I though.
You can imagine how I felt when we finished the night with a sheepish half-hug. WTF??
I thought about that night a lot. Even though I didn’t keep seeing him, I kept wondering what makes men finally go in for the kiss.
It’s hard enough to know what to do when you kiss a guy. But first you have to actually be kissed before you even cross that bridge.
What Makes A Man Want To Kiss A Woman
The first (and most obvious) thing is attraction to the woman. A guy isn’t going to kiss you if he’s not into you that way.
But that doesn’t mean men go around kissing every woman they’re attracted to, thank god.
Now there are some guys who are damn near close to doing that. They don’t need a whole lot of encouragement. If they think you’re cute and they’re “feeling it” in the moment, they go for it.
If you’re with a guy who’s more shy and reserved, it’s trickier. A shy man will need it to be in the right setting, with all the right signals from you.
The Right Setting
If we’re talking about a first kiss with a new guy, it needs to be somewhere private.
And by private I mean you need privacy. You can still have enough privacy if you’re out in public. You just need to be away from other people so he doesn’t feel like he’s being watched.
Still, for a shy man it’s better to be in a situation where it’s just the two of you.
But the right setting isn’t just about where you are. You need to spend some time together, too.
If the two of you are on a date, don’t expect the kiss until at least later in the night. (Yes, night is better than daytime if you want him to kiss you.)
In the meantime you need to keep having fun. Flirting, having fun, building rapport and attraction.
That’s why one of the absolute best settings is toward the end of your date. When you’re walking to the subway, or he’s walking to your door, or he’s about to leave your place. I know, it’s a cliche, but it really is the most natural time for a guy to make a move.
If you want him to kiss you, make sure there the two of you have a moment like this. Don’t call yourself an Uber if he’s offering you a ride. Don’t leave his place in a hurry, because that might be exactly when he was planning to go for it.
The Right Signals
Just being with him, having fun and showing interest will go a long way toward giving him the green light. But making him feel bold enough to kiss you might take a little more effort.
The best way to give him the message is to physically touch him earlier in the date.
That doesn’t mean you have to grope him, obviously. Even if that sounds fun 😉
What you need to do are small things. Touch him when you laugh, hold his arm when the two of you are walking side by side, brush his shoulder with your hand when you walk by him.
If he has already touched you – holding your hand, for example – be into it. If he grabs your hand, show him you enjoy it by grasping a little tighter, or caress between his fingers ever so slightly.
You can go a little further with this if you’re already in a private setting, like watching a movie together. If you want him to kiss you, you can make it known by cuddling with him to turn up the heat while the movie’s still going.
Give Him The Opportunity
One more important bit of advice. You have to give him an opening.
Don’t stare at the ground, or have your head turned, or be drinking a coffee.
If you are hugging at the end of the night, look up at him instead of burying your face in his chest.
Better yet, look up at him and smile. Don’t worry if you’re feeling kind of awkward – he is too. What matters is that you’re giving him clear signals that you want to be kissed.
If he’s a gentleman, he’ll want to know you’re okay with his advances. And if he feels the same way about you as you do toward him, he’ll finally go for the kiss.